


The More Things Change...

by MegsChaos



Series: The More Things Change [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bipolar Ian, College, F/F, F/M, Gallavich, Gallavich in Several Ways, Growing Up, Ian Gallagher and Mandy Milkovich are Best Friends, M/M, Moving On, Moving Out, Multi, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:01:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12204387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegsChaos/pseuds/MegsChaos
Summary: What if Mandy didn't let Ian leave and the psychotic break happened where he was around people that noticed so the mania was never his 'norm'?   What if the two best friends found a way to stand on their feet together and get their shit sorted?  What if life kept happening and they had a united front for the good and the crap that it threw at them?





	1. Prolouge - Setting the Scene and all that Shit

**Author's Note:**

> Do I have two current WIP's? Yes. 
> 
> Should I be starting a third? No.
> 
> Am I? Yes.
> 
> I just - I need Ian and Mandy to be BFF's and be in each other's worlds. I need that so damn badly. So here is my answer to that need. That and this has come to me in a variety of ways in the last few days - so I figured....why not right? 
> 
> In this AU world - there may be flashback stories - or ones that don't fit in QUITE right. Those will be added as side stories. Also - if you all want it - I can throw up my tumblr or something so if there is something you would want to see in this world - you could let me know. If that is a thing you all would like - let me know.

Mandy Milkovich was a lot of things. She was loud, crude and protective of her inner circle of people. She was also one of the first people Ian Gallagher had trusted to tell he was gay. She had been there through so much with Ian - how could she have missed this? How could she not see that he was in love with Mickey? How could she have missed all the signs? She knew Ian Gallagher better than just about anyone - including the red head himself. 

So sitting here with her on the roof of her house, smoking a joint and listening to him - she could hear the ‘good bye’ and that was happening. She wasn’t sure just who he thought he was - but Ian was getting to leave without her. He could go on his ‘find myself’ mission - but he wasn’t going solo. She was his girlfriend. She was his person. And she had been so wrapped up in Lip and Karen and the drama...she had let the ball drop a bit with Ian. And he had let the ball drop with her too. 

But right now his heart was broken - so she wouldn’t remind him of that just yet. She would wait till he was back at his fighting strength first.

“Okay, Ian. I love that you think you are leaving - “

“Mands, I am gone -”

“Bullshit. Not without me and yeah my brother is a moron. I could have warned you about that shit. But you leaving me? Not happening fucker.” She narrowed her eyes at him and pointed the joint in his direction, “So we are gonna make a fucking plan. ANd you can even make one of those lists you like - and we will figure this shit out. But you ain’t leaving me.”

“I am enlist -”

“Oh for the fucking love of life.” An eye roll and then Mandy moved, straddling Ian’s lap and placing a hand on either side of hs face and made him look at her, “Ian...no.”

“But he MARRIED her Mandy! The fuck am I supposed to do with that? How do I stay - “

She watched him almost wilt and mentally she wanted to scream. This was Ian Gallagher. He had stormed Mickey’s room with a tire iron. He had stood up to and for people. He was a GOOD GUY. Her brother had made him fucking happy. And now it was over and he was sad and broken, but hell, so was she. And she stayed. So this fucker could to.

“You don’t let him win. You stay and we go back to bein’ Ian and Mandy. We plan and we get the hell out. Besides - you are too damn close to graduating - we both are and I have not a fuckin’ clue how that shit happened.” She kissed his forehead and whispered, “You stand and you fight Ian. It’s all you do. You stand and you fucking fight.”

There was a puff of air and he whispered, “For my right to party?”

She wasn’t going to laugh. Laughing encouraged this asshole. Made him think he was funny or some shit. But her shoulders were moving and she could feel him grinning and she punched him in the shoulder, “God you suck.”

“Damn right.”

Was this her life now? Back to Ian Gallagher, his god awful .puns and jokes? Back to being there and him in her space again. Was this what it was going to be?

Well, it could suck a lot worse.

~~

_**Eight Months Later** _

“I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IAN CLAYTON GALLAGHER I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS.”

They had done it. They had graduated high school - the both of them. But their plans had derailed when Ian just - broke. No, he hadn’t broken - he had fallen into a very dark hole and it had taken them about four months to find the right ladder for him. Four months of fighting with him and with doctors. He had been in for observation on two different stays and he was finally standing on his own two feet.

Two feet that were moving far too slow for one Mandy Milkovich who was ready to go and see these apartments already for the love of god. She was leaning against the couch in the Gallagher living room and finally heard the footsteps of one Ian Gallagher as he made his way down them, shoving his arms into a jacket as he did.

“I had to take my meds. And Carl had taken my gatorade to make a bong.” He kissed her cheek and held up his pill bottle, “See, I am going to be all adult and shit and take my meds. Then we will have some coffee while I ride out the dizziness. Then we will go and look. I PROMISE.”

Heaving a sigh, she pushed off the couch and pushed him towards the kitchen, “You are lucky I love you shithead.”

“I know. And I will even pay for lunch out so we can keep on hunting.” Ian said with a laugh, “Just promise me that you will let me eat my fries this time.”

“When has that ever happened ever in the history of us?” Mandy asked, taking her seat at the counter and holding her hand out for the cup of coffee. That was soon finding it’s way to her.

“A man can dream.”

“If all you are dreaming of is french fries - we need to get you out son.”

Shooting her a _Look_ as he poured his own cup of coffee and then popped his morning meds and reached into the fridge for a gatorade to swallow them down with, “Don’t start Mands.”

“Seriously - I will call up Lexxy and we will go OUT this weekend. Celebrate you starting school, me starting classes and Lexxy...being Lexxy.” Mandy waved her hand in the air, “She will find something to celebrate. Come on - it will be FUN. We will go to Boystown and you can get old men to buy us lots of booze.”

A small grin tugged on his lips, “I guess that could be a thing we do.”

A lot could happen in eight months. Ian could get diagnosed as being Bipolar while still getting into college. She could get accepted into cosmetology school. They could both get legit jobs, making legit money. They could have met a very - loud Alexandra Dolohov was loud - blond when their dinner orders were mixed up and gotten a third member to their merry little group. They were looking at apartments between campus and work for both of them. They were going to get out of here - together.

Because they had promised each other that they were going to. But first coffee - and then apartment hunting.

~~

Twelve apartments later - and they were in a townhouse. A new-ish one in a less than horrific area. Meaing - they would hear gunshots but not every night and they could - in theory - afford the rent. Thank god for Ian getting a housing stipend from the school because they literally ran out of dorm space due to fire damage. Between that and their jobs and grant money - they could live here and eat really cheap mac and cheese. Not Kraft but still….

Two floors, ttwo bedrooms and a back deck. Appliances that looked younger than her father. There weren’t holes in the walls or floors. The rooms were small but not claustrophobically small. She sighed and looked around the bedroom that she was in. 

Please let Ian like this place. Please for the love of fucking hell let him love this place. She left the room to find him checking the water pressure in the bathroom and he gave her a thumbs up. She grinned and got one in return.

Thank fuck.

~~

Filling out the application for the townhouse was crazy. But they did and were promised word in the next three days. So that left them with nothing but time on their hands - for three days. They were sitting on swings in a park, passing a cigarette back and forth when he looked over at her and grinned.

“Want to go clubbing and get trashed to pass the time?”

“I thought you would never ask.”


	2. Announcements, Reactions and Late Night Train Rides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy and Ian let their families know they are moving out. 
> 
> Lip is an ass. Mickey and Iggy are levelheaded.
> 
> Ian faces some truths on a late night grocery run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this - you will notice - is set up a bit differently. I am going to try and have a minimum of two perspectives per chapter - Since everyone can see and experience things differently.
> 
> This is going to be a Canon-Divergent, Slice of Life sort of gig. And will be dealing with what happens if Ian stays and everyone has to grow up so they can move forward with their lives.

~*~ ** _Mandy_** ~*~

It had been one thing to plan this shit out with Ian. To spend weeks and months talking about moving out. To look at finances and help him fill out grant paperwork that would help the ‘financially challenged’ (and she would like to know who the hell in the Southside wasn’t) afford to go to school full time and support himself. To make lists and plot and plan. Because it was the two of them out to move the fuck on and try and not be **_here_** anymore. Because here was messy and complicated. Here was a dead end. She had told a counselor at school once that her future was in jail or pregnant. When she had convinced Ian to stay - to stand and fight. He had convinced her to do the same. Which sounded like a fucking after school special that they watched once while getting high off of the good weed she had ‘liberated’ from Iggy’s hiding place.

Two best friends, taking on the world.

It was great. Until she had to tell her brothers and sister-in-law. It had been her, Mickey and Iggy for a damn long time with Terry. Tony, Jaime, and Colin had gotten the hell out for the most part years ago. Iggy had stayed for Mickey and her. At least that’s what she told herself. Mickey stayed because Mickey was loyal as fuck. And she had stayed because until now - she hadn’t seen any other options in life. But now there were. And now those options had taken real physical form. In a lease. With her and Ian’s name on it. And she had to tell them. Really it would work out for the best - Yevgeny was going to need a room soon and hers was close to Mickey and Svetlana’s. It would be a better fit really.

Standing there in the old, worn out kitchen, in jeans that had seen better days and a ratty ROTC hoodie she had stolen from Ian years ago, her bare feet in slippers she had taken from a Target a few years back. Her long black hair was up in a messy bun and she looked her age for once instead of older than her years. Mandy looked at the stew she was making and the canned biscuits she was making in the oven and told herself again that a little bribery never hurt anyone. She had beer in the fridge, this was the guys’ favorite meal and there were cookies from Debbie Gallagher that she had hidden from Iggy who was ‘testing’ out the product from a new supplier and Mandy didn’t want dessert to be a casualty of his munchies. Turning the black haired girl saw Svetlana in the entry to the kitchen. Her nephew was in her arms and there was a cigarette dangling from her fingers.

In another life, Svetlana would have been a welcome addition to their family. She was strong, she was determined, and she didn’t take Mickey’s shit. She could almost drink Terry under the table. All qualities that normally would have led to a great fit for a new member of the Milkovich shit show. But while Mandy didn’t mind her - hell there were days she actually liked the woman - she just didn’t feel comfortable around her all the time. But she was wild about her nephew. With those Milkovich blue eyes and Mickey’s laugh. She loved him more than life. And leaving him - that was almost as hard as leaving her brothers. Her sister-in-law and her father? They could do whatever. But her boys? Now she was going to miss them.

“You make dinner? I thought you work tonight…” Svetlana’s voice was soft, her eyes almost calculating as she took in the scene in the kitchen.

Mandy raised a brow, wishing for a moment she had the eyebrow expressiveness of her brother, “I worked a double yesterday to get today off. I figured why not making a family favorite right? It’s been awhile.” She reached for her beer and took a sip as she stirred the stew, “There is beer in the fridge if you want one.”

Nodding the other woman set the baby into his high chair and went to get herself a drink, taking a drag from her cigarette as she did, “I work tonight, can you watch baby? Piece of shit husband…” he voice trailed off, “He says he has work.”

“Um, yeah. That shouldn’t be an issue. I might end up hanging out with Ian and that would just be over at his place. They are used to babies.” red lips turned into a grin, “In fact I think they would be sad if I showed up without him. At least Debbie would be.”

The Russian actually laughed softly and then over at her son, “Good. It is good he has people yes?” Her eyes softened as she watched her son look around the room curiously from his perch in the high chair, “I want him to have good people.”

“Well, he has the Southside option of good people.” Mandy said with a shake of her head, “If nothing else he will learn how to say ‘Get out Frank’ and ‘Get down Carl’.” She watched as Svetlana got some food ready for the baby and she turned back to the stove. Food was almost ready - about another forty five minutes. Biting on her lower lip, she shot a look over at the other two people in the kitchen and sighed, “So let me ask you something - hypothetically.”

“Okay.” Svetlana didn’t look up, but the tilt of her head told Mandy that she was listening.

“Moving forward doesn’t always mean you have to leave everything behind right?”

She was asking Svetlana this for many reasons - she was new to this shit show. She had a bit more of an unbiased eye. She had had her own version of a Southside trauma filled life. She was a fucking whore that was married to her pimp and couldn’t get a green card due to that career choice. She was as stuck in this mess as anyone. But she wanted more for her son. Which was rare in these parts. Especially in this family.

“Moving forward - you take the best and you leave the shit.” was the softly accented answer, “You keep what you want to keep and you toss all garbage out to curb.” eyes that could see way too much peered at Mandy through thick lashes, “Why?”

“Just curious. It was a debate I was having with Ian the other day. He and Lexy said the same thing.”

That made the older woman laugh at bit, “Ah yes, blonde friend that blonde brother drools after yes?”

“Yeah - that would be her. I think one day Iggy is going to drown in his own drool when it comes to her.” stirring the stew, Mandy took another drink from her beer bottle and pulled her hair up into a bus while she watched the food simmer on the stove, “Oh and Ian set over more baby stuff for Yev. I think they are hoping that if they purge the baby shit out of the house that then Monica isn’t going to show up with another one.” 

“They are generous to people not family.” Her sister-in-law was never completely comfortable with the generosity of the Gallaghers. She didn’t understand why Ian showed up with bags of baby clothes, why Lip had dropped off the bouncer and it always amused Mandy to no end. Because she could see it from her perspective - it was a bit - strange.

“See, but I am best friends with a Gallagher. One of the big three.” She grinned and winked at the confused Russian, “That makes me family - and Yev is my nephew. So he gets the perks of it all.”

She wasn’t going to say that Fiona had seen them at the store when Yev was born and not wearing enough so that Ian was there that night with a bag of stuff. She didn’t mention that Ian saw her brother in his son’s face and would move the world for this child - no matter his conception story because he was Mickey’s. And even though he was trying to move on - the surest way to get to him was still through her peice of shit brother. Or at least though his son. She would just say it was family by choice taking care of family by choice. She would save them all some face until she couldn’t anymore. It seemed easier.

~~

Dinner was a success. Her father was out doing whatever the fuck it is he did when he wasn’t here being a pain in their collective asses. She wasn’t really going to complain. Her brothers were suspicious - and she could tell that by the side eyes she was getting. Her sister-in-law was just enjoying a meal that was filling, warm and she hadn’t had to make it. FInally Mickey spoke up.

“Mandy, what the fuck is this for? Did you kneecap someone that you shouldn’t have? You know we will ‘talk’ to them…”

“No shithead. I was just trying to be nice.” flipping off her brother before snagging another biscuit, Mandy rolled her eyes, “Can’t I be nice every now and then?”

“No.” Iggy said around a mouth full of stew, “What the fuck Mands?”

Resting her chin on the palm of her hand, the baby of the Milkovich family looked around at the people at the table and mentally sighed and braced herself. She had put this off as long as she could. She had waited until she and Ian were literally moving this weekend. She had to start packing in the next few days. She couldn’t - or rather she wouldn’t - just let them all come back one day to see her room empty and a note on the door. She wasn’t going to pull a Tony on their asses. So she did what an adult would do. She took another bite of dinner to buy herself some time. But her not blowing Iggy off had both of her brothers looking at her with narrowed eyes. She wanted to scream. Iggy was going to chose to NOT be high tonight. Of all nights he had to have his damned wits about him? And Mickey - he was going to be sober tonight of all times? Had there been some sort of note she had missed? A ‘Mandy is going to tell you someone and you need to have your shit together to fight her on it’ note? 

Fuck her.

Swallowing she shrugged her shoulder and said it as casually as she could, “I am moving out this weekend.”

And then something happened that never happened in this house - it fell silent. She glanced around at the table and the only one not surprised and glaring at her was her sister-in-law. Which she supposed was a good thing - since Mandy never really wanted to test out her accuracy with that hammer she kept threatening people with.

“The fuck you are bitch.” Mickey said finally waving it off, “Stop with that bullshit and pass the rolls.”

“Signed a lease over a week ago. Move in is this weekend.” Mandy said, looking Mickey in the eye as she handed him the biscuits and smirked at him, “Ian and I have a place. Close to college and my classes.”

Before she could finish, Iggy rolled his eyes, “So you are moving out with your ex-boyfriend instead of being here with us? Bullshit. And what classes?”

“Not as of Saturday. Saturday I am moving out.” Mandy said taking another bite, “And I am going to cosmetology school. I told you that. This is a place that is closer to where I work and school.”

“I think is good.” Svetlana spoke up, cutting off Terry before he could speak, “I think being strong woman is good thing.” She met Mandy’s eyes and raised a brow at the shocked look on the other’s face and smirked, “Women stick together yes?”

Mickey looked from his wife to his sister and then back again. He wasn’t sure how he felt about these two getting along like this. It was similar to how he felt when he heard Ian and Svetlana having a civil conversation. It just felt wrong on a base level, then he looked at Mandy, and had the urge to shove away from the table in frustration. Mandy watched him with curious eyes and she waited for his implosion.

Frankly she was waiting for him to lose his shit. She was moving out with the guy that she knew Mickey was wild about. She knew he was miserable in his marriage. He and Ian were barely speaking. He was stuck in a cycle he couldn’t escape - and here she was saying that she was going to move out with Ian. She wouldn’t blame him for being in a mood over it. But she was hoping that he would still deal with it.

“You tellin’ dad?” Was all he said after taking a moment to adjust to the idea. 

“Do I look like I have fucking lost my damn mind?”

Iggy swallowed and looked at Mandy and cracked open his beer, “Well, fuck….” he took a long drink and then nodded, “Good - get the hell away from that shit head Mands. Run like hell. ANd make sure the couch is comfy.”

“OH HELL NO.”

“C’mon! It would only be every now and then!”

“You are not sleeping on my couch.”

“You would deny your own brother shelter?!” Iggy gave her the most wounded look she had ever seen on him sober, “Mandy - I am so hurt….and sad….”

“And if I let you stay the night - you will be there five years after our lease expires.” was the reply that had Mickey and Svetlana trying to not laugh and looking anywhere but at the two siblings currently having a staring contest - or at each other for that matter. Finally that ended when Iggy blinked and was rewarded with a cackle from his sister - which earned her a middle finger.

“Anyway, you sure he’s reliable? I mean…” Iggy shrugged and leaned back in his chair, “His track record has been…” His voice died out at the look on Mandy’s face, and his hands went up in surrender, “WHAT?!”

“Ian Gallagher doesn’t let me down. In fact - he hasn’t let anyone down fuckface.” Mandy growled her defense of her best friend at her brother, hell, most days she considered Ian to be her soul mate. The one person that was THERE. No matter what. Who loved her - no matter what. So he leveled her spoon in Iggy’s direction and narrowed her eyes at him, “Especially anyone in this fucking house. So keep that shit in your damn head.”

She didn’t look over at Mickey when she was defending Ian and her choice to move out with him. She couldn’t look at her brother and see that LOOK in his eyes that he really sucked at hiding. That pain. It really sucked to see someone you love hurting - and she got to see the aftermath of those two from both sides of the story. So twice the ‘fun’. And it led to moments like this when she wanted to reach out and tell Mickey to get his head out of his ass and go and talk to Ian. But she couldn’t.

Because his wife was sitting at the table, she wasn’t a completely horrible human being, and Mandy wasn’t going to test the theory that Svetlana liked her enough to leave her claw hammer put away and not pull it out at the dinner table.

Then Mickey spoke, “So this - it’s a bribe to help your ass move is that it?” His voice was low and gravely and Mandy finally risked a look in his direction. He was looking down at the bowl of stew and still eating like nothing was wrong, but when he looked up at her, she wanted to wince. Mickey couldn’t always use his words in the best ways, but fuck if he sucked at keeping his emotions out of his eyes - and right now those were damned raw and hurting.

“Yeah - also in beer and pizza on the day.” She took a bite out of a biscuit and grinned at everyone, “Come on - it’ll be a giant pain in the ass but then Yev can have my room, and you get a free meal and drinks out of it. Win/win all around.”

Studying her sister-in-law, she saw the other woman perk up and raise a brow like that was an option she hadn’t thought of before. Mandy stopped talking for a bit and let the news sink in. While her family adjusted, she slipped her phone out of her back pocket and sent Ian a short text.

_”So I told them and no one died of shock._

She grinned as she almost immediately got back his:

_Give it ten minutes. Otherwise - disappointing!_

God she loved that redheaded bastard.

 

~*~

_**~*~Ian** _

There were times that Ian found it easier to put things into two categories of time - “Before Diagnosis’ and ‘After Diagnosis’. Telling his family that he was moving out would have been easier in the ‘Before Diagnosis’ period of his life. It would have been easier before they had seen him motionless in bed for two weeks. Before they had had to visit him in the psych ward. It would have gone over smoother before they had had to take him back because the cocktail wasn’t right and he was more manic than they had been comfortable with. If he was still that person that had the option for his goals of the military. But he didn’t. He had persevered through a lot. Being gay in the Southside. Falling in love with Mickey Milkovich. The events that went down with Terry the Fucker found them. Watching Mickey get married. Almost leaving. Staying. Getting diagnosed with Bipolar. Graduating high school. Getting into college…

All of these things were things he had conquered. And yet here he was terrified to tell his family that he had leased a place with Mandy and that he was moving out. Because he didn’t want to have to sit there and defend his choice. To assure them that him moving out didn’t mean he was going to stop therapy, his meds, or being there for them. So here he sat as dishes were passed around the table and the roar of a Gallagher dinner seemed to echo in his ears.

“So, I am moving out this weekend. Debbie - can you pass me the mac and cheese please?”

And just like that there was silence. He looked at his sister expectantly and was surprised to see a twinkle in her eyes.

“Sure Ian - and congrats.” She stuck her tongue out at him, “And I hope you know that you still need to read over my english papers.”

He saluted her with the serving spoon and dished the cheesey goodness onto his plate and waited for the fallout.

“You are doing WHAT?!”

“Have you thought this through?”

“And just where are you going?”

“Have you talked about this with Dr. Bennett?”

The last one was one of the ones that made his skin crawl the most Because he had done what he was supposed to do - and he had stuck with it. He had gotten help. He had taken his meds. He had worked through the stages of grief for the life he could have had if his parents genetic makeup hadn’t completely messed with his. But he wasn’t Monica. He could be out of this house and away from them and not fall off the wagon.

“Mandy and I have a place. Closer to school and work. It will actually shave about ten minutes off my commute to Dr. Bennett. Who actually gave us an IKEA gift card as a gift so we can you know - have chairs and shit.” Ian looked around at everyone at the table and sighed, “I need this guys. I am literally moving fifteen minutes away. It’s not like I am leaving you all for Timbuktu.”

Waiting again, he wasn’t disappointed by Lip interjecting, “Did you get your Milkoviches confused man? I think you signed the lease with the wrong one.”

The silence was no longer warm with concern and familial closeness, Lip had managed to turn Ian’s warm rebuttals and reassurances ice cold, “Fuck you Phillip.”

“Hey, I am just asking.”

“And hey, go fuck yourself since that seems to be your only action these days. Want me to leave you some lube when I go?”

The two eldest Gallagher brother stared at each other over the table and everyone just sort of waited. This could go several ways - and only one of them would end up with no bloodshed and that would be if Ian chose to back down. But Ian wasn’t looking away, the twinkle was gone from his moment with Debbie and his jaw was set. Lip had crossed a line - and the curly haired fool had more than likely known it the moment the words left his mouth. But there were certain things you just didn’t say to Ian. And _anything_ involving Mickey Milkovich was one of those things.

You didn’t mention how he had never visited Ian in the hospital - even though you could set your watch by Mandy’s visits. You didn’t mention weddings. Or juvie. You didn’t bring up Segal or powerful ponytails. But you sure as hell never insinuated that Mandy wasn’t Ian’s Milkovich. Because she was and will always be _his_ Milkovich. And as far as Ian was concerned - Lip hadn’t taken the best care of her when he had been allowed in her life. So that on top of his new commentary and the set of Ian’s jaw…

Debbie moved the pan of meatloaf from the corner of the table just in time for Ian to get up, very calmly and then walk out the door, slamming it behind him. Now all eyes were on Lip. And figuring out if he was going to do anything or if he was just going to sit here and let this whole thing blow over. But Debbie wasn’t in the mood to wait. She wanted her brothers back at the table. So her arms crossed over her chest and she narrowed her eyes at Lip.

“Lip….” Her voice had an edge to it that was too similar to Fiona’s for Lip’s liking, “Fix it.”

“Debs….”

“No, you don’t get to be an ass like that Lip.” She pushed away from the table and glared at him, “Ian has been through a lot of shit and this is a big thing. You don’t get to shit on it for him.” She pointed to the back door, “So go fucking fix it.”

“I am not the only one - “ Lip started, and raised a brow at the look on Debbie’s face, “Fine. I will go and talk to the poor little injured soul.”

Debbie rolled her eyes and sighed as Lip went outside, “I am surrounded by idiots.”

“HEY!” Carl said with a grin, “Lip resembles that remark.”

~~

Ian was on the bottom step, his legs stretched out, a cigarette dangling from his fingers when Lip came out and sat next to him. They ignored each other as they both tried to figure out just how close the other one was to caving. Without speaking or really acknowledging the other. It had taken them awhile - but it was a system they had developed over the years. Finally, Lip acknowledged that the chin had made it’s appearance and he was going to have to be the one to start to build the bridge.

God his brother was a stubborn fucker.

“Okay, so I could have overreacted a bit.”

Nothing.

“So - that was a good step talking to Dr. Bennett.”

Still nothing. He narrowed his eyes at the younger sibling and punched him in the shoulder, “Hey jackass…”

Ian took a drag from his smoke and leveled a look of pure exasperation and ‘the amount of fucks I have to give is zero’ at his brother and said, “Well no shit it was a good step. It’s why I did it. I have no desire to go back to being a bother and into that dark hell Lip. I don’t want to go backwards. I am not FUCKING MONICA.”

“I never fucking said you were!”

“You were treating me like I was in there. Like this was the next step towards - “ he waved his hand, “Whatever level of fucked up she is.”

“Because we worry?!” Lip turned and looked at his brother, “Listen up - we care about you - though why right now is escaping me. We don’t want you to just - “

“What/ To just just what Lip? I am moving in with fucking MANDY. She has been there ever damn step of the way. Hell, I think she knows my med schedule more than you do. AND she understands I am still a person and not a fucking disease.” Ian ground out his cigarette and looked at his brother, “Do you even fucking SEE me or do you just see Monica?”

Lip was quiet and looked down at his hands. His worst moment had been seeing Ian like his mom had been so many times. He had ALWAYS been able to help fix Ian’s problems. Hell, he could have minored in ‘Southside Gay Brother Drama’ and aced it. But this was - this was huge and terrifying. And Ian hadn’t taken the news - well. He had fought the diagnosis. He had admitted himself twice to the psych ward. But at least when he was here Lip felt like he could still help. Keep an eye out. Once Ian moved out - where did that leave him?

“I don’t see fuckin’ Monica Ian.” He looked at his younger brother finally and sighed, “I see my brother who still needs me and I don’t wanna - “

“Well, you are pissing him the fuck off. You can still be my brother if I have another address I didn’t realize that we could only be family if we lived together.” Ian ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “Lip - I need this man. I need to at least try. And it’s Mandy. And I am closer to work and school and Bennett. All things I need in life right? I am one stop away on the El. I am not going that far away.”

And in his logical mind Lip knew that. He knew that Ian wouldn’t leave everything to chance and just vanish into the ether. He knew that Ian would want the safety net of having family close - just in case. And if he trusted anyone with Ian - it was their mutual ex-girlfriend. He had no idea why either - it was just a feeling.

“Fine. I will give this all a chance. Hell, I will even help you move. But I am reserving the right to give my thoughts and opinions -”

“Like you ever fucking stop giving your thoughts and opinions?” 

Lip flipped his brother off and they shared another smoke, the thin gray wisps of smoke vanishing into the night air.

 

~*~

Ian had had to get out - he had soothed the feathers of his family and was now out walking. In theory he was getting stuff for breakfast in the morning. In reality he was getting away from his family so he could feel like he could breath again. He hopped on the El to take it out a few stops to a slightly less crappy grocery store and he slumped in his seat a bit and stared out the window. His thoughts were wild and crazy - but in a normal person way. He was just in a state of flux and it was messing with him. 

And Lip’s commentary about moving out with a different Milkovich had hit home in a way he hadn’t been anticipating. He had been waiting for someone to make the comment - someone who had known about him and Mickey - but he hadn’t thought it would hurt when it was made. He had moved on from his piece of Southside trash. He had let those dreams die. In the VFW as he watched Mickey marry Svetlana. He had buried them when Yev was born and he had left flowers at the grave when He had gone back to the clubs with Mandy for the first time in months. They had danced and he had had his one beer and felt like he had had a case. He had flirted and danced with men in his age bracket. Mandy had been proud of him for not moping around and it had felt a bit like he was getting on an even keel.

But they weren’t Mickey. They didn’t roll their eyes at his puns and they didn’t make him laugh. They wouldn’t understand his need to run until his legs gave out. To be fair - Mickey hadn’t either but he had rolled his eyes and not made him feel like a fool over it. They didn’t have his smirk or the eyebrows. 

His hands were in his jeans pockets as he made his way off the train, then the platform and made his way to the 24 Hour Hy-Vee. He was going out of his way for breakfast - but it was giving him time to sort himself out. And he needed that time. Because he wanted to be more on level tonight when he got home. He had to be before he took boxes over to Mandy tomorrow. Because the chances of running into Mickey were high and he was going to need his ‘Oh, you are here?’ face to be in good working order. Because he wasn’t going to let Mickey see how much he still affected him. Because he didn’t think he could deal with the smugness of that man. Knowing Ian still craved him, needed him…

His therapist said it was a sign that he was still this wild over him after all this time. That it was a good thing. Ian thought _she_ might be the crazy one for that. Who wanted their heart broken over and over again? Who wanted to be reminded over and over again that they weren’t enough to make someone chose THEM? Other than Ian. Who couldn’t shake these feelings - even if he was working on trying to.

Three bags of groceries, a gift card to stash in the squirrel fund for when his family needed it and he was back on the train, watching the city fly past him in a haze of light and shadows, his forehead resting on the smudged window.

Fuck Mickey Milkovich and his stupid eyes and his stupid ass. He was going to do this and get over him. He was. And moving out with his best friend was the first step to the fresh start he was needing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muse!Mandy: So we are both not dead. Good start.
> 
> Muse!Ian: True - but zombie strength might help us move faster.
> 
> Muse!Mandy: But less time for you to ogle Mickey in no sleeves and sweaty.
> 
> Muse!Ian: I hate you. *pauses* Pass me a beer at least while I feed my addiction.

**Author's Note:**

> And you might be saying - 'MICKEY IS LISTED! WHERE IS THE MICKEY!?! ARE YOU BEING A GALLAVICH TEASE YOUR HORRID WOMAN?!"
> 
> I am not. He and everyone will be showing up. But all in due time. Because this will be a Gallavich story in a variety of ways. But right now - the only Milkovich Ian is able to handle is Mandy. And occasionally Iggy if he has the REALLY good weed. And it has to be REALLY outstanding weed.
> 
> But I hope you enjoy!


End file.
